I’ve heard a lot of people say they’re clumsy, but these people are never as clumsy as they make out, they’re frauds. There are people in the world, like me, who are stuck with being clumsy. We have no choice but to be clumsy. We fall over nothing and everything.

In my life I’ve done so many clumsy things it’s concerning, I’ve actually been to the doctors and have now got insoles to try and correct my walking, not that it’s made much difference, I still struggle to walk in straight lines. My clumsiness varies, I’ve stepped down the tiniest step and landed face first on a gravel path, I’ve fallen up stairs, I’ve accidentally punched myself in the face (don’t even know how I managed this), I’ve fallen off chairs, I’ve fallen over trying to sit on chairs, I’ve tripped up curbs, I’ve tripped down curbs, I’ve tripped over twigs, I’ve even got trapped in my own coat (don’t ask it was very embarrassing, my teacher laughed at me for ages).

This is just the tip of the iceburg, these aren’t one off events, they happen on a daily basis. If there’s a day where I haven’t fallen over/tripped over/dropped something then I am genuinely shocked. So if you’re one of the few who don’t experience this sort of thing, consider youself lucky, and if you do experience this sort of thing, then we are united in horrific embarrassment and shall be there to offer support for each other when we next fall over/trip over/drop something.

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