I’m an awkward person, we all know that. Today I’d like to discuss just how awkward shopping is.

First of all there are other people there, now, I have nothing against people, as long as they aren’t in my way, walking at 0.1mph, talking really loudly in my face or just generally being annoying. Shops though, bring out ALL those aspects. People get in your way, they’re ambling slowly, shouting to their friends and relatives about clothing because of the loud music playing in the background.

Then there’s the trying on part. 90% of the time I refuse to try things on, even shoes and coats, partly due to laziness, but mainly because the process is stressful and makes me feel so uncomfortably warm. So if I do like something, I’ll hold it against me, judge if it looks okay, then just buy it.

The buying it process is always slightly awkward. I have to get my money/card ready 5 minutes before I pay, and, while queueing,  have to recount the money and rehearse what I’m going to say, which is usually “hi” and “thank you”just so I don’t make myself look like an idiot. Now we have to pay for bags I have to have my bag ready to, if I forgot a bag I go through an internal battle “do I buy a bag or not?”.This Saturday I bought a box and having forgotten my bag and the fact I actually needed one, I was so flustered at the question “do you want a bag?” I panicked, asked if they had a paper one big enough and then said no to a plastic one. Meaning I had to carry the box by hand. Luckily my mum had a bag big enough for me to use otherwise that could have ended disastrously.

I know they mean well, but I’d prefer it if shop assistants didn’t come up to me left, right and centre asking me if everything’s okay or if I need help. If I did need anything I’d ask, please leave me to be antisocial.


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